Childbirth Seriously Changes Everything

Hello, lovely friends. I hope y’alls weeks are going swimmingly!

Let me start this out by saying that while I was pregnant with Oliver, I was incredibly preoccupied with childbirth. When would it happen, would I know it was happening, would I have to have a c-section, how much did it really hurt- you get the idea. I didn’t think about after childbirth very much because I thought we would just figure the whole parenting thing out.

What. A. Joke.

Before I start telling you some things I wish I had known before having kids, I will preface by saying that some of these things you just can’t understand until you experience it. I know it’s cliche, but it’s just true. So if you don’t have kids, take everything I’m saying and exaggerate it by 10 to try and understand. If you have kids…you know. So I give you…

8 Things That Change After Childbirth

Your Definition of Pure Exhaustion

We’ll kick off with the one everyone talks about. Oh, I know you pulled an all-nighter in college that one time, so you definitely know what it feels like to be tired. (Insert eye roll here). But see, after that all-nighter, you could sleep! All day! Whenever you wanted! Try to pull 4 months of all-nighters straight with an hour long nap during the day, maybe. Everyone tells you to sleep when the baby sleeps. I definitely recommend that when you can, but y’all, sometimes mama needs a shower and some lunch instead. You just learn to live in a perpetual state of exhaustion. Then, when you do get 4 hours of sleep straight, you feel like a brand new woman.

Childbirth Seriously Changes Your Life

Your Definition of Privacy

So this is something no one told me about that I wish I would have had a heads up on. Sure, we all know privacy goes out the window during childbirth, but it doesn’t end there, friends. Nursing kind of makes you not care at all about privacy, obvious reasons. Then once you get past that, you have a toddling child bursting into the bathroom when you’re trying to take a moment. And then he tries to crawl into your lap while you’re on the toilet because he just has to be read Little Blue Truck right now or he’ll just DIE! (Insert another eye roll.) Y’all, just don’t expect to have privacy for a few years.

Your Body is Not Your Own

Again, the nursing is largely responsible for this. You are literally a food source for a tiny human. You live to serve their every cry and demand, especially when it comes to nursing. (Cluster feeding, anyone?!) But this extends even beyond that, people. My two year old views my body as a jungle gym, a tissue, a pillow, a racetrack for his cars, a target for his throwing practice…and that’s in between the nursing my 4 month old every two hours. So during the day I feel like I am anything but a human being.

Childbirth Seriously Changes Your Life

Your Ninja Skills

You guys should see me during lunch time. I can nurse Zoey while making mac and cheese with Oliver climbing up my leg, all while drinking coffee. You know that show, American Ninja Warrior? Not a doubt in my mind I could beast that. In my pre-kid life I would ask Dan for help if I was trying to carry two laundry baskets. Psh. Child’s play. Now I can carry all of the laundry, while dancing across the living room to avoid stepping on lego’s, wearing a baby on my chest, with my coffee in hand. Boom.

Childbirth Seriously Changes Your Life

Your tolerance for Repetitive Noise

I used to not be able to handle the same sound for more than about 2 minutes at a time. Playing a beeping noise over and over was a guaranteed way to get me to talk if you needed information from me. But in case you weren’t in on it, babies crying is the same sound, over and over and OVER. And you know what calms them down? White noise machines. And what do white noise machines do? Make the same sound over and over and over again. It’s really just one giant vicious cycle, but lemme tell ya, your tolerance for these things is higher than you think!

Your Appreciation for Caffeine

I mentioned it before, but I didn’t become a coffee drinker until kids. Specifically when I was pregnant with Zoey. Listen, y’all, you have to do what you have to do to get through. I found coffee. Even if it’s soda, you will more than likely find a source of caffeine and hold on to it like a drowning sailor to a buoy. When people don’t have kids and say they love coffee I’m like, “yea, but I need this coffee to avoid a mental breakdown.”

Childbirth Seriously Changes Your Life

Your Definition of a Meal

Pre-kids I had three square meals a day. Sure, occasionally I might miss one, but usually I ate pretty consistently. And they were full meals. Earlier this week my lunch consisted of a drumstick, a cookie, and half of a bowl of cereal. I try really hard to still eat regularly because it’s so important, especially while nursing, but there are just some days that Zoey and Oliver are on completely opposite schedules, and that leaves limited to no time for my own schedule. But the fact that I could even consider some goldfish and the crust of a PB&J lunch is a testament to how low my standards have shrunk.

Your Definition of Gross

It used to be considered inappropriate to talk about feces at the dinner table, right? Because now it’s pretty commonplace conversation. I also used to look at parents wiping their kids’ snotty noses and just think, “uuugh”. Now- I’m that parent (I still think it’s gross, but ya do what ya gotta do). I’m also that parent that has unidentifiable stains on her pretty much all the time. I used to change throughout the day, but then I realized it just wasn’t worth it. Not only would I still get spit up on me, but my laundry load would be more. So now I just rock it. Gross? Yes. Practical? Absolutely.

These changes are hard, y’all, and definitely take some adjustment, but I wouldn’t trade a single one of them. I love being used as a pillow for my babies (though I could do without being a living target), and I know that way too soon I’ll get those three square meals in peace and quiet and just be thinking how much I miss it all. So though these changes are hard, I’m trying harder to appreciate them at this moment.

So tell me, what were some unexpected changes your experienced after having a baby?

Have a phenomenal day!

Childbirth Seriously Changes Your Life

 

 

 

 

 

8 Things That Change After Childbirth

32 Comments

  1. Emily @ Pizza & Pull-Ups

    August 3, 2017 at 6:36 am

    Lol. I was literally telling a friend with a weeks old baby that at some point he would start sleeping 4-5 hour blocks and once she got 4 hours of sleep in a row she would wake up feeling like a whole new person. Thanks for this, great read.

  2. Mary Leigh

    August 3, 2017 at 6:54 am

    I can totally relate. I always said I WISH someone had better prepared me for life after birth. I felt so prepared for L & D! The exhaustion is no joke. And lunch. Hahahahaha. Whatever is there is for lunch some days. It definitely gets better and you adjust, and getting a full sleep cycle in makes you feel human again, but it was a tough adjustment over here!

  3. Jess

    August 3, 2017 at 8:12 am

    These are all true and mommin’ is though, but we find a way to make through the day!

  4. Jackie

    August 3, 2017 at 8:32 am

    So so true. I can totally relate and agree to this post ! All definitions changed even your definition of love !

  5. Victoria with One Sharp mama

    August 3, 2017 at 2:07 pm

    Great read! I’m a new mom, I have an 8 month old and the exhaustion is real. I’m sitting at work now, my body is aching because I’m so tired. I just want to curl up and take a nap. My daughter is teething, so it’s making sleep patterns even worse. I can’t wait for the day that she sleeps through the night

    1. Alex

      August 8, 2017 at 1:13 pm

      Yes, these first few months are so hard! My son started sleeping through around 9 months, so hopefully it’s soon for ya, mama!

  6. Rachel

    August 3, 2017 at 2:09 pm

    Oh my gosh, the bathroom one!!! Yes a million times! The number of times I’ve peed with a child on my lap is ridiculous. This was a refreshing article that made me laugh when I needed it. Thank you 🙂

    1. Alex

      August 8, 2017 at 1:13 pm

      Thanks so much for reading! 😊

  7. Kelsey kosztowny

    August 3, 2017 at 3:42 pm

    Great read. I agree with the meal times. Some days I go until 3pm and have to ask myself if I’ve eaten anything! And yes, bring on ALL the caffeine.

    1. Alex

      August 8, 2017 at 1:12 pm

      I know, meal times are non-existent! Thanks for reading 😊

  8. Angela

    August 4, 2017 at 2:09 am

    Oh. My. Heart. I laughed at every single one because they are just so true! I sometimes catch myself in a moment of ‘holy, I wish someone could see how awesome I am right now’ while juggling a mountain of laundry on one hip, my new walker on the other (just turned 5 – there’s a feat) and spouting math problems to my 8 year-old who begs for all math, all the time. This mom job is no joke! // Love your blog! Looking forward to following more posts!

    1. Alex

      August 8, 2017 at 1:11 pm

      Thank you so much, Angela!! 😊

  9. Heather

    August 4, 2017 at 9:25 pm

    Love this post sweet lady!!!! You nailed these 8 and I love as laughing the whole way through! I absolutely relate to ALL OF THESE!!! Great Job!

    1. Alex

      August 8, 2017 at 1:10 pm

      Thanks Heather! 💛

  10. Reg

    August 4, 2017 at 10:41 pm

    OMG so true. Esp about eating. There were so many times I would forget to eat because it’s just plain chaos!

    1. Alex

      August 8, 2017 at 1:10 pm

      Same! I’ve left a full lunch on the table because that’s the closest I came to eating!

  11. Valerie Clement

    August 6, 2017 at 11:35 am

    Love this and totally agree with everything! I just told my husband yesterday, I don’t even know what it’s like to use the bathroom without someone banging on the door, walking in, putting their hands under the door or crying outside. 🙄

    1. Alex

      August 8, 2017 at 1:09 pm

      Yes, it’s crazy! Was not prepared for that before having kids 😂

  12. Tejal

    August 6, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    Alex you nailed it!!! For me I was kind of expecting the tiredness but I wasn’t expecting how irritated I get with Loud noises i.e. Baby crying really does trigger some stress response in you. Learning how to keep my nervous system from getting overstimulated has been a huge lesson for me!

    1. Alex

      August 8, 2017 at 1:09 pm

      Yes! My son wasn’t too bad, but it’s been a huge learning curve with my daughter.

  13. Amanda

    August 6, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    These are all SO true! I love having humor in motherhood, and I also consume coffee like it’s a sport! 😉 XO

    1. Alex

      August 8, 2017 at 1:09 pm

      I think it’s a requirement to be a mom 😉

  14. Nicole

    August 6, 2017 at 8:05 pm

    These are all spot on, I just told my husband I never thought I could eat someone else’s regurgitated food and act like it’s no big deal. I did it the other day with my son and I didn’t even think twice while I did it!

    1. Alex

      August 8, 2017 at 1:08 pm

      I know, it’s crazy how much it all changes when it’s your tiny human!

  15. Lindsey

    August 8, 2017 at 2:17 pm

    All. Of. These! Especially repetitive noise. I am very sensitive to noises, but somehow that is dissipating!

    1. Alex

      August 8, 2017 at 3:04 pm

      That one is so hard for me!! My daughter cries a lot so it tests my patience a ton! 😂

  16. Mai Edwards

    August 9, 2017 at 2:54 am

    Reading this was like you took everything out of my head… crazy. Are we the same person. But seriously you nailed it all especially the caffeine. I never drank coffee before but after kids I need it. Loved this ost.

  17. Mikaeya

    August 11, 2017 at 12:41 pm

    All of these are so so true! Especially the pure exhaustion- my former self had no idea, and the acquired ninja skills!!

  18. Archie

    August 12, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    I love this!! Especially your definition of accepting the gross!! I think a lot of moms don’t really understand the level of gross. Thanks so much for sharing and will definitely pass this along!!

  19. Lindsey

    August 14, 2017 at 11:29 am

    Love, love, love this post!! I so agree with you on all eight points!! There is so much I didn’t think about regarding post baby. Like you said, I was so occupied with thinking about preparing for my son I didn’t realize how it would be once he was here. I guess some things just require on the job training! I do have to say it’s the best job ever!!

  20. Charlsye

    August 15, 2017 at 7:34 am

    Sleep exhaustion and no longer having privacy…spot on….okay all of them are spit on. Haha! The only one I haven’t done is caffiene. I’m still not a coffee drinker, but I sure see how I could have became one.

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