My Changing Perspective
These little people run our lives.
You know how it is, mama (or dada). You wake up in the morning with a list full of things you hope to accomplish. Tasks that have to get done in order for you to feel like you’ve had a productive day.
But then it all goes sideways around 8am because the baby won’t stop crying unless you’re holding her, and the toddler is yelling “MAMA” every two seconds to show you how he can jump 3 inches in the air. And you can just see your to-do list disintegrating in front of you.
This has pretty much been my everyday for the past (almost) six months. And you know how I end my days? Feeling frustrated and annoyed, like I was unproductive because I didn’t get my to-do list done.
But my world has been rocked by some truths lately, y’all. And I’d like to share them because these truths have dramatically changed my perspective and, as a result, my attitude.
The first truth.
I am doing what I am meant to be doing at this time.
We roadtripped to Pennsylvania this past weekend, and I started bingeing on a podcast called The Goal Digger Podcast. Episode 36 was an episode with Katelyn James, a photographer I love following who recently became a mom. She said so many great things so I encourage you to listen to it, but specifically she was talking about how she would scroll her phone while nursing and felt like she should be doing other things. And how wrong that is, because she was doing exactly what she needed to be doing, which was feeding her child.
I would get so frustrated with my kids, y’all, because if they weren’t playing well, or if they needed too much of my attention, then they were interrupting my to-do list. But this is so wrong. Because too often my to-do list is actually interrupting my time with them.
I was a restaurant manager before I started staying at home. 55-60 hour work weeks, weekends, 2am nights, 4:30am mornings, schedules, constant texts- it was a lot. So going from that to staying at home as a huge adjustment for me. I felt like if I wasn’t crossing tangible items off of my list everyday, I wasn’t accomplishing anything. But my purpose right now isn’t to cross off a to-do list. My purpose is love and take care of my children, so as long as the day ends with them happy and alive and knowing that they are so loved, I’ve accomplished everything I needed to do that day.
And the second truth that’s changed my perspective.
Maximize the time I have.
So I won’t call this a truth as much as a much needed realization. This one came while listening to conference session by Jordan and Amy Demos last week. They were talking about it in a different context than parenting, but the point struck home for me.
Y’all, how much time I’ve wasted scrolling Instagram during naptime is a little ridiculous. Then when the kids wake up, I’m frustrated because I didn’t get anything done. That’s not my kids’ fault…it’s mine for not efficiently using the little time I have. There are so many better things I can do with my time other than scroll Instagram or go down the email rabbit hole. Eating, writing a blog post, showering, quiet time, dishes, laundry…less fun but more productive and essential things I could have accomplished.
I don’t get much time to myself. Maybe 30 minutes if naptimes overlap and a few hours after the kids go to bed. If there are things I want to accomplish, I really need to maximize my time to make sure I’m utilizing it to the fullest. I want to be fully present with my kiddos as I’m meant to be, and I can do that better if I have a plan for the little time I do have. This has really helped my perspective switch from, “oh my gosh, I have so much to do today!” to “this task is going to get done during naptime, and this task after bedtime.” It’s more manageable mentally for me, and it helps me not worry about trying to do things while the kids are awake.
How it’s changed my perspective.
These truths and realizations probably seem like common sense, but they’ve really revolutionized how I go into my day. I have more patience, I don’t get quite as frustrated as easily, and I’ve stopped blaming my kids for not feeling productive.
I certainly still have my moments where I wish I had more me-time, and there are the (rare) days where Oliver and Zoey are being great and I can get some things done while they’re awake. But right now, that’s all extra. God has me as a stay at home mama during this season of my life. As challenging as that can be, I’m so incredibly blessed and grateful for it.
My perspective going into my day is no longer thinking about my to-do list and how it’s going to get done. I start my day thinking about how I can be the best mom to Oliver and Zoey. Then when I get some time, I know I’m using it fully and getting things accomplished. This has taken so much pressure and stress off of me- stress and pressure that was only being placed on me, by me.
Let me know your mindset going into the day and what frames that- I’d love to hear!
If you’re interested in some more mamahood realness and struggles- check out my mamaguilt post here!
Have a phenomenal day!